7 | Two-shower Days

So today, for the first time since I moved to Italy, I showered twice. Once in the morning, once in the evening. Short ones.


It's officially summer (in my book)!


Back in Singapore, I would always shower twice a day, short ones, because the heat makes you hot and sweaty even when you're at your desk most of the time. That's just life when you're one degree north of the equator.


Then I moved and realised that the two-shower days are unsustainable, and most importantly annoying outside of hot days. In winter when I just want to put the heating on all day long, I didn't even want to look at the bath/shower.


So yes, two-day showers begin. I don't complain; it makes me feel like I'm back home.


We also brought out the fan. It's staring at me from the doorway right now, placed there because apparently, it's the most strategic place?


It has wheels so we get to bring it around with us. I'm quite sure it's happy with us.


I also got a blue handheld fan, which I never used to own back in Singapore. Not sure what's happening.

 

I think my rambling above is in part procrastination.


The truth is that this week has been tough, like mentally and physically tough.


My birthday coincided with the first day of my period, it was really trying. The staycation was fine but because I was in pain and discomfort, we ended up not going for dinner at the restaurant.


The days between Wednesday were worse. I'm not sure what happened but my period this month was exceptional - I've never experienced this level of intensity before.


I woke up almost everyday feeling exhausted, sometimes unable to move or think properly until I have my first cup of coffee. This exhaustion though.


With the physical effects came the emotional and mental effects too - things just seem so bleak and I genuinely felt so fragile.


I was questioning pretty much everything in my life.


Ironically, I also received so much support from the writing community on Twitter, and it's been one of the more positive periods in terms of work.


There was a thought that really helped me towards the end: that no matter how terrible I was feeling, I knew that I'll feel better one day. It wasn't going to be that day, but one day.


It comforted me because it appealed to the logical part of my brain - when I feel anxious, logical reasoning comforts me more than kind words.


It also reminded me that I needed to feel whatever was happening, and just to ride the wave.


I guess that was my brain helping me. Would something like this help you?


I really hope no one reading this has ever felt the same pain I did and will never have to. If you have (I'm so sorry), feel free to tell me down below.


In any case, I really hope you had a better week than I did.


I hope you learned, laughed, and had a good one out there! See you soon.


xoxo,

Raya


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